


Blindsided by desire

by ImmortalAcorn



Series: Memories of Draco Malfoy [18]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst, Falling In Love, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Memories, Open to Interpretation, POV First Person, Post-Hogwarts, Reminiscing, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-20 07:59:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16133027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImmortalAcorn/pseuds/ImmortalAcorn
Summary: He kissed me, drew me closer, pressed himself against my body. He stroked his hands all over my skin, placed his mouth on my every muscle.I tasted all of him. I couldn’t get enough of his moans, his smell and his flavour.I couldn’t get enough of him.He was everywhere. All around me. Inside me.I forgot in those moments.I forgot who I was.





	Blindsided by desire

Why.

Oh, why was I so foolish?

I should have cared more.

I should have been more observant.

I shouldn’t have ignored the signs.

I should have say no. Right at the beginning.

I was blindsided.

By him.

And by the desire.

  
***

 

I used to wait for him to come to me.

But at some point it wasn’t enough.

So I began coming to him.

Just because I wanted to.

Because I wanted him.

More and more and it was excruciating, this need.

He was surprised when I came the first time but pulled me inside nevertheless.

We started to plan the meetings sometimes.

He would ask if I was free.

I was always free for him. But I liked to pretend that I was busy occasionally.

We would agree on a place. Mine or his.

I didn’t know when he was going on assignments.

So sometimes I would come to his house and no one would open.

I never asked when he would go away. He never told me.

It was a hit and miss.

Now and then he would be gone for a week, two weeks, a month.

Always too long, always too short.

He came to my door covered in blood exactly three times. His own.

The third time I told him he was dirty and that I hated it. I slammed the door in his face. He never came bloodied again.

I hated to see him injured and bleed.

I hated the fresh scars.

I hated the notion he would never open his door or knock on mine.

I hated he could die at any moment.

I hated him for making me feel this way.

But then he kissed me, drew me closer, pressed himself against my body. He stroked his hands all over my skin, placed his mouth on my every muscle.

I tasted all of him. I knew what he liked and what he hated. I couldn’t get enough of his moans, his smell and his flavour.

I couldn’t get enough of him.

He was everywhere. All around me. Inside me.

And I forgot in those moments that I hated him.

I forgot who I was.

I forgot who we were supposed to be to each other.

I forgot it was just fucking.

I forgot it all.

There was only him.

 

***

In the afterglow I knew I was broken. No matter how much I wanted to deny it.

I lost myself along the way and couldn’t find my way back.

He was blocking the path and made another one.

One I was reluctant to take.

One that was so tempting it hurt.

So I turned around and walked away.

Away from him.

Away from us.


End file.
